Your Universal Digest (1/8/2016)

First Friday after the break. Feels good, don’t it? Feels real good. Like that time you experimented with the shower head, you dirty lil minx. Today we get back to the roots, and I’ll give you your poopin’ rag. Here’s your digest. Work it out.

Oooh, work it - Imgur
i chose this because i’m listening to kanye’s workout plan

Your awful news of the day: A shitbag executed his own mother because she told him to leave ISIS. Read more here

In better news, Jaden Smith is now the official face of Louis Vuitton Womenswear. No foolin’.

jaden

Are you going to participate in Powerball this weekend? You should know that if you win, you will not spend your money on anything more worthwhile than this fine gentleman (thanks @BermBabyBerm)

 

Your song of the day is awesome. Play it now.

 

And then there’s this. What a fucking gem. This girls scream will haunt my dreams in the best possible way

 

 

I got my work phone in the mail and now I have an iPhone again. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS

jzOjx5F - Imgur

 

My new favorite thing on the internet is drawing doodles on things. These never get old so, yknow, get used to seeing it here.

Ui64Zu9 - Imgur
like this
m991Gv1 - Imgur
and this.

 

In honor of Ken Griffey Jr. (the baseball player, not my brother’s bong in college) joining the HOF, here’s something you may never see again (mostly because you don’t watch baseball). Father and son homering back to back.

 

In the vein of other super cool sports shit that you’ll never be able to do because you have a desk job

LgblAZJ - Imgur

 

Your movie trailer of the day is brought to you by the bad guy from Thor doing a movie that looks like American Psycho fucked Eddie Murphy’s Tower Heist. That is to say, it looks awesome.

 

 

Remember: you are the center of your universe. And so am I.

baring_my_heart

 

 

Happy friday boys and girls. Have a wonderful weekend.

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