Your Universal Digest (10/6/2015)

Happy Tuesday! No digest yesterday. Why, you ask? Because it was Monday and it was raining and fuck you, that’s why. 

But my rainy Monday did net me a trip to IKEA and the knowledge that the pub on my corner does 2 for 1 pizza AND 2 for 1 beer on Mondays. So now I’ve got cups, plates, a shitty bedspread and a hangover.

Anyway, here’s something to make you smile. This guy who had a worse day than you.

r6F0ZjL - Imgur
i wonder if he got laid anyway. probably not.
  • Good news of the day: BP fined 20.8 BILLION for the Gulf Oil Spill .  This bird is going to be swimming in reparation money!
jkjk this bird is definitely dead
jkjk this bird is definitely dead
  • In other news, France Air execs tried to cut a lot of jobs (2900) and then an angry mob showed up to their meeting and tried to fuckin kill them. French people are such dicks. Oh, also, the directive to fire all these people was called Plan B. I’m not kidding.
  • Cool shit today is definitely NOT this guy. But the thing he’s playing with. That thing is cool.

H8ci9Ag - Imgur

  • oh oh and have you ever wondered how a key works? no? yeah I guess I haven’t either. Still though, here you go.

IhnStku - Imgur

  • Song of the day is by Rainbow Kitten Surprise. Ridiculous/awesome name aside, this shit is great.
  • Bonus from my favorite @mannymeade. This song is just so good.
  • XKCD of the day

dontbethatguy

  • Trailer of the day is this crazy fuckin movie starring a bunch of people you totally recognize

oh, and this is what Matty McCconnageghay (sp?) will look like in the upcoming “Gold”

well alright alright ALRIGHT jesus, Matt
well alright alright ALRIGHT jesus, Matt
  • Let’s close with the best thing.
UNhWQiV - Imgur
the determination is unreal

Don’t forget, your life is pointless and nothing you do matters. And that’s OK.  Have a good day, everybody.

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